Going Grey Real Talk

Okay, so right now grey hair is a “thing”. Young hipsters are spending incredible amounts of time and money to prematurely grey their hair. Men with grey are “distinguished”. But women…middle aged women, where do we fall in there? I got my first grey hairs about 16 years ago. They were right at my temples, so I decided to rock bleached streaks ala Bride of Frankenstein for several years. As I was quite the rockabilly filly at the time, it worked out just fine. After that, a decade of hair dye and root touch ups has become the story of  my life. I’m so over it. Currently, I am in my third attempt in as many years to just let it be. This comes with many challenges.

Challenge #1: Every Ad, Movie, Magazine and Product in the WORLD

Eff this, looking your age is the shit!Now I am not saying that you should not use whatever products in whatever way makes you feel like your best self. That’s none of my business. Well….maaaaybeeee some people try a bit too hard, but you know what? That’s their prerogative., and bless them with it! What I most definitely am saying is this: the beauty industry is in it to win it. They want your money. The simplest way to achieve that is to make you feel like shit and them present you with a way to rectify your situation…for a nominal fee, of course. I love make-up, yummy smelling hair products, and the like, but I am absolutely aware of the machine that grinds us down, urging us to buy them.

Challenge #2: My Loving Men

10 Waysto look10 yearsyounger(1)I love them. Look at them! How could I not? Lucky, my son, is Autistic and tends to get hyper focused on certain ideas. One such idea is that I will eventually die (thanks Disney :/ ). So whenever he spots my greying hair he exclaims loudly, no matter where we are, “Mom! You be grandma now and die?!?!?” over and over and over and….well you get the picture. This can go on for days, off and on. It’s not only mortifying (depending on where we might be at the moment), but makes me very sad for his little heart to be carrying such a burden. Nothing can console him, not even facts. So, very often, I give in and get to dying my hair. As for my husband…well, can we say hypocritical much? Okay, I concede that his silver fox status is at level 1,000, obviously. I loooooove his hair. S-E-X-Y! He, however, does not feel the same about mine. Perhaps it’s our age difference (I’ve got 8 years on him), or something else. He just rolls his eyes when I ask, but is emphatic that growing it out grey is a very bad idea.

Challenge #3: My Own Stupid Vanity

Going grey....gracefully?Real talk. This is not cute. Where I am grey is basically a halo around my face. I am convinced that once grown out, it will be amaaaaaaazeballs and totally glam. At the moment, however, it’s just getting me lots of “wow..she needs to do something about that” looks. I almost always wear my hair pulled up in a crazy bun. One might argue that since I wear it up all the time, I should just lop it all off, and start fresh. To that I say, “hell no!”. I have spent the better part of the last three years growing this hair out from a pixie cut and I am in no way, shape, or form, ready to endure those weird growing out stages again. Nope. Another suggestion is to wear a wrap around it like the photo in the upper right hand corner. However, I have found that 1) it doesn’t suit me, and 2) it slips back constantly showing (maybe even highlighting) the grey, and generally annoys me. I thought bangs would be great; I mean, you can’t even tell, right? Turns out, I hate having bangs (a realization I come to quickly every time I cut them). So, for now, I just walk around looking like a woman who’s just given up on herself; quite far from the reality of the situation. This is about loving and embracing myself and I’m ageing. It’s about knowing that I am just as vibrant now as I was with a bunch of chemicals attacking my scalp every 21 days. All of this said, I just can’t walk around like this anymore. I can’t. So, what to do? I am no longer comfortable bleaching and dying my own hair (back to that three years of growing thing), so I think it is time to seek professional help. I’m planning a trip to the salon to pull out the black dye currently obscuring my silver glory. With luck, my face will be framed in glowing silver stands by month’s end. After that? Well, I’ll never ever ever ever have to dye my hair again; and that is a very satisfying thought! So wish me luck, won’t you? I feel like I might need it.

What do you think about going grey? Are letting nature take it’s course? Or will you fight it every step of the way? Or, perhaps, you’re a rainbow in this world of black and white and you like your hair to reflect that?

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10 thoughts on “Going Grey Real Talk

  1. I once worked with a woman who’s hair started going grey at 20. She decided to go with it after a few years of fighting it and finally started to grow it out. By the time I knew her, { I was just 19, she was in her mid thirties }, she had the most gorgeous silver locks I had ever seen.

    She looks so elegant.

    I have always been allured by silver and grey hair. I remember being a teenager out in the country of newly weds and nearly deads and they would sell old lady silver dyes in the pharmacy. Now that I finally want to dip my toes in, I can’t locate it anywhere!! Luckily I have a few friends with their hair stylist licenses and we’re planning a trip to the beauty supply store. I’m currently stripping the black out {as you know} and I’m rocking some auburn locks {which I hate, I really dislike having natural hair}. So, too am hoping to be rocking silver locks by the end of the month, with a violet/lavender ombre effect { because pinterest }.

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  2. Haha Awesome Truths!!! You know I’m alergic to hair dye and my greys are a scalp based at primarily also around the hairline. Because I have locs, and the grey seems splotchy and like glaring white holes in a galaxy, I tend to be not okay with it! I would love to have silver locks, but that will take a decade or more! Please! I ain’t gonna lie boo, I sharpie those roots at my hairline when I can’t stand it no more! #RealTalk

    I need to pledge with you, but I ain’t ready to put down that sharpie. 😉 Vanity can be beautiful for self love and self esteem, but yes I know that my annoyance with this visible reminder of my aging is pure ego centric vanity. For now I’m okay with it. Let’s just say I’m not so great with transitions. But manifesting becoming a transitional master! ❤ Love you and your silver halo. ❤

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  3. OH Michelle, you are like serious always in my head! I too am starting to get more gray hair and in the past year dyed it twice after not coloring my hair for 10 yrs. I am conflicted, because my grays are not too bad yet, but I know in a few years they will. I hate the constant up keep with dying your hair and those roots are a bitch! Also having curly hair, the dye is very damaging with to my hair, so whats a girl to do. I think my man will be ok with my gray curls, but will I? Sometimes it just seems like Woman go the short end of the stick….LOL What ever you choose to do, you will look beautiful and you family will love you no matter what! Hugs & kisses!!

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    1. Grey curls sound beautiful! But your in the same boat as me, long hair does not grow our gracefully. If you only had to due it twice, you’ve totally got time to make up your mind. I had to dye mine every three weeks! Being a woman is serious business, right?

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  4. Needless to say I think you would be stunning even if you were bald! As you know, I’m getting some greys too. However, they aren’t at my hairline yet, so I pass them off as highlights. Honestly, I don’t know what I’ll do when I really start going grey. But to see you in silver locks would be pure magic! Love you mama! xoxo

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  5. I started to go grey at 19 and now I have a ton of grey, mostly right on the top of my head. I am also REALLY sick of dying it recently, so I’m also going to take advantage of this crazy grey hair trend to grow mine out. What I’m going to do first though is have a big silver patch put in – right in the front/top. I’m hoping it will ease the transition and look really cool. We’ll see. I made my appointment at the salon for next week. Let’s hope it looks cool and people don’t ask me if I’m my baby’s grandma.

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