Las Vegas, Zaftig Style. My 3 Favorite Things.

This past weekend I had the most wonderful time in Las Vegas. While most people flock to “the strip”, we prefer to enjoy Fremont Street; with it’s vintage hotels, quirky “showgirls” and (possibly best of all) 100% shade all the time. That’s right, ladies, all shade all the time. I don’t do well in heat, so this is a huge selling point for me. The weekend was so much damn fun; I could go on and on….and on. In the interest of your valuable time (and my impending carpel tunnel syndrome) I’ve distilled it down to me three favorite experiences.

Experience #1

Heart Attack Grill

How have I never been here before?!?! I think in previous visits I’d looked at it like a novelty, with it’s scale out front inviting you to weigh in and score free food if you exceed 350 lbs. It struck me as offensive and, admittedly, I’d been sheepish to enter. Not this time! Upon entry you are required to don a hospital gown (all servers are nurses, or surgical aids) and while many people left quickly upon hearing this, we were all too happy to strap them on and get inside. We bellied up (pun intended) to the bar and were greeted by Tracy our bartender. And tend to us she did!

I fell in love with her when she said this, “People come in and ask me ‘when do the big people come?'”. I tell them it’s not a circus act! They come when they’re hungry, just like you did!”. And in fact, we did see two people tip the scales at over 350 to an astonishing roar of applause and support.

Β We tried beer, Jello shots served in syringes, a vanilla-cake-vodka-butter-fat-shake (possibly the best thing I’ve ever, ever tasted) and of course burgers and fries. The music was pure 80’s hair metal and pop and I loved every minute of it. One caveat, be sure to finish you food or be prepared for a complimentary spanking from a nurse…and they do NOT hold back! Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This place is so fun, we actually forgot to leave. We spent our entire Friday night here and I regret nothing!

Experience #2

Mob Museum

I love museums. I love mob movies. I now love Mob Museum. Built inside the old post office is this marvellously designed and truly mesmerizing gem covering Las Vegas’s rich history of gambling, prostitution and other vices in general and how The Mob built it’s empire there. The information, interactive exhibits and artifacts are all wonderful, but what I truly appreciated were all of the amazing design elements. For me, aesthetics are everything and the fact that a museum about The Mob had me oohhing and aahhhing all over myself was impressive.

Experience #3

Zumanity

No trip to Vegas is truly complete without taking is a show, am I right? I’ve been a fan of Cirque du Soliel for a very long time. I first saw a performance in the 90s and I instantly fell in love with it’s artsy farsty qualities and the fact that there were no animals being tortured to perform; just people doing what the love. For those of you who don’t know, Zumanity is billed as “The Sensual Side” of Cirque. They are not kidding! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attend this show with anyone who you would not be comfortable witnessing lots of nudity and implied s-e-x with. This show is super risque, super gay friendly and super interactive. Full grown adults were giggling self consciously and a few even walked out in disgust. I LOVED it!

My favorite part of the show was The Botero Sisters; named after zaftig friendly artist Fernando Botero. The beautiful, round, sexy sisters (who actually grew up in a circus) start the show out on a surprising and very fun note. Dressed in tiny little French Maid costumes and handing out luscious strawberries to those lucky enough to have the “good” seats, they make it clear that they’re more than a starter, they’re stars! They come and go throughout the performances and every time I saw them I’d nudge my husband’ “that’s what I wanna be when I grow up!” I’d whisper. Had I thought it possible, I’d have been trying to get backstage groupie style. Li and Lu Botero, should you ever need a third sister, I AM RIGHT HERE and my name will be “La”! Sadly, photos are not allowed, so I gathered a few from their website to share.

Β As I said in the beginning, I would love to share all our fun, but I’m keeping it brief-ish. So I’ll round it out with one last collage of Vegas goodness.

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