The Battle of the Fairer Sex (Why Are We Aiming at Each Other?)

Girlfriends. 

Gal Pals. 

Sisters. 

BFFs. 

Home Girls. 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the relationships between women. The way we lift each other up. The way we tear each other down. How fun it is to giggle with our closest gal pals at nothing at all. The huge hole we can leave in one another without offering the slightest compassion for doing so. It seems the old saying “women, can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em” hold true even in platonic female relationships. Call it what you will. The special bond that women can have together is unlike anything we’d ever have with the men (spectacular though they may be) in our lives. Why is it, then, that we so often use our powers for evil?

 Gossip is fun, right? Who doesn’t get a little catty every now and then? Our society has painted two options for us. Girl power and cat fights. Often, one leads to the other in my opinion. Why is it that so very often we let the claws come out and get so ruthless on each other? Insecurity? Competitiveness?

 I am all about the strength that lies only inside women. Our ability to endure. Our gift for compassion and forgiveness. I also see us with a lethal ability to undermine one another. I myself have eviscerated a fellow woman for no other reason that to feel superior and confident. I am not proud of that. In fact, I live my life now to be a shoulder to lean on when it’s needed, to be strong when my friend is weak or even to allow myself to admit my own faults and failings. It is only when we accept each other for what and who we are as individuals that we will find our collective power.

 As plus size women in this society, the cards are often already stacked against us. The media bombards us with unrealistically altered photos. Advertisements for ways to “get thin and beautiful” are everywhere. Here in Southern California in particular you can’t go down an interstate for more than a few miles without seeing HUGE billboards for liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tucks and even  Lap Bands. The last thing we need is help tearing ourselves down. Life is already a precarious walk on a tightrope. I challenge each and every one of us to be a safe place for our fallen sisters to land.

Lift each other up. Be vulnerable. Be strong. Be a good listener. Be kind. Use the gifts inside yourself to help your fellow woman.