The Battle of the Fairer Sex (Why Are We Aiming at Each Other?)

Girlfriends. 

Gal Pals. 

Sisters. 

BFFs. 

Home Girls. 

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the relationships between women. The way we lift each other up. The way we tear each other down. How fun it is to giggle with our closest gal pals at nothing at all. The huge hole we can leave in one another without offering the slightest compassion for doing so. It seems the old saying “women, can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em” hold true even in platonic female relationships. Call it what you will. The special bond that women can have together is unlike anything we’d ever have with the men (spectacular though they may be) in our lives. Why is it, then, that we so often use our powers for evil?

 Gossip is fun, right? Who doesn’t get a little catty every now and then? Our society has painted two options for us. Girl power and cat fights. Often, one leads to the other in my opinion. Why is it that so very often we let the claws come out and get so ruthless on each other? Insecurity? Competitiveness?

 I am all about the strength that lies only inside women. Our ability to endure. Our gift for compassion and forgiveness. I also see us with a lethal ability to undermine one another. I myself have eviscerated a fellow woman for no other reason that to feel superior and confident. I am not proud of that. In fact, I live my life now to be a shoulder to lean on when it’s needed, to be strong when my friend is weak or even to allow myself to admit my own faults and failings. It is only when we accept each other for what and who we are as individuals that we will find our collective power.

 As plus size women in this society, the cards are often already stacked against us. The media bombards us with unrealistically altered photos. Advertisements for ways to “get thin and beautiful” are everywhere. Here in Southern California in particular you can’t go down an interstate for more than a few miles without seeing HUGE billboards for liposuction, breast augmentation, tummy tucks and even  Lap Bands. The last thing we need is help tearing ourselves down. Life is already a precarious walk on a tightrope. I challenge each and every one of us to be a safe place for our fallen sisters to land.

Lift each other up. Be vulnerable. Be strong. Be a good listener. Be kind. Use the gifts inside yourself to help your fellow woman.

 

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6 thoughts on “The Battle of the Fairer Sex (Why Are We Aiming at Each Other?)

  1. This is a really good topic, and it is a really good point to bring up. Some of the meanest things I have done have been to friends because of a man. Put my selfish feelings and needs in front of the gals who I always cherished spending time with. And I sometimes wonder how different our lives would have wound up if we had stayed in touch, giving me a chance to apologize for being so unfaithful to our friendship. Maybe we would still be friends today. Thank you for sharing this and giving me something to think about.

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  2. This is so perfectly timed. I was disappointed to see some hubbub on IG late last night and I went to read what the dish was. It’s all surrounding a popular indie make up brand, their founder and the fact the security on their website had been comprised .

    Understandably, people are upset with the website hack, but others are acting like the founder just went an sold their credit card info. Which is so absurd.

    I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding this particular person and a lot of people feel it is their place to air all her woes, but I just don’t see why.

    They are ripping this woman to shreds and completely villainizing her, it’s so disheartening to see some body positive people I follow join in. Regardless if she’s done some bad things, she’s done some good as well. If they were not personally involved in an instance, why join in the public ridicule?? It made me sad.

    It’s cheap entertainment veiled as justice. It’s a shame and the complete opposite of what we, as woman, should be doing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ugh….IG. I love it, and i hate it. I’ve managed to stay shade free, and when i see women tearing each other down, gossiping and just getting flat out cruel, it breaks my heart. Do you know the woman in question? I get a short note of support would mean the world to her right now.

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      1. I do not know her in person, she’s quite popular. Sadly, it seems like she’s been dealing with this kind of behavior for years now. It just flared up yesterday with the security breach.
        I honestly have no idea if she is a good person or is completely horrible, like these people say, I just hate to see so many people get involved with bringing someone down, just because they feel they can.

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  3. Indeed tearing each other down serves no woman. That doesn’t mean not having an opinion because it counters another woman’s opinion, it means not being intentionally destructive to others. Not feeding the never ending pot of hostility and anger society and the media encourages women to fill for the purpose of “entertainment” or distraction from the issues that justify anger and need our attention.

    We are a powerful force, building each other up is in the end such a better resource for ones time and energy. Social media is just a vehicle for some to hide behind, and others to build a movement. To women supporting women, always.

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